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Wedding

Wedding

]] A wedding is a civil or religious ceremony at which the beginning of a marriage is celebrated. In most societies, a number of wedding traditions or customs have emerged around the wedding ceremony, many of which have lost their original symbolic meaning in the modern world. Other wedding traditions are relatively recent. Some elements of the Western wedding ceremony symbolize the bride's departure from her father's control and entry into a new family with her husband. In modern Western weddings, this symbolism is largely vestigial, since husband and wife are of equal power and status. Recently in some cultures, same-sex weddings have begun to be celebrated. The Western custom of the bride wearing a white wedding dress came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era (despite popular misconception and the hackneyed jokes of situation comedies the white dress did not actually indicate virginity, which was symbolized by a face veil). Within the "white wedding" tradition, a white dress and veil would not have been considered appropriate in the second or third wedding of a widow or divorcee. The specific conventions of Western weddings largely from a Protestant and Catholic viewpoint, are discussed at "White wedding." Weddings in modern China combine both traditional elements and elements influenced by the West. The actual civil ceremony consists of registering the marriage with the local registrar and is brief and done without much ceremony. The wedding reception, however, is elaborate and complex, and the one prominent element of modern Chinese weddings is the Chinese wedding album. A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception, at which an elaborate wedding cake is served. Western traditions include toasting the bride and groom, the newlyweds having the first dance, and cutting the cake. The bride throws her bouquet to the assembled group of all unmarried women in attendance, and the woman who catches it is supposedly going to be the next to wed. A fairly recent egalitarian equivalent has the groom throwing the bride's garter to the assembled unmarried men; the man who catches it is supposedly the next to wed. garter

Music

Music often played at western weddings includes:
- The "Bridal Chorus" from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, often used as the processional and commonly known as "Here Comes the Bride" - Note: Richard Wagner is said to have been Anti-Semitic, and as a result, the Bridal Chorus is often not used at Jewish weddings.
- Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D is often used as an alternative processional.
- The "Wedding March" from Felix Mendelssohn's incidental music for the Shakespeare play, A Midsummer Night's Dream, often used as a recessional.
- The "Toccata" from Charles-Marie Widor's Symphony for Organ No. 5, also used as a recessional.
- Segments of the Ode To Joy, the fourth movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, sometimes make appearances at weddings; its message of humanistic unity is suitable for the occasion.

External links

- [http://wedding.bestinfo4you.com Wedding] - Resources and information on weddings and anything you need for your wedding.

Marriage

Marriage is a relationship between individuals which has formed the foundation of the family for most societies. Marriage can include legal, social, and religious elements. In western societies, marriage has traditionally been understood as social contract between a man (husband) and a woman (wife), while in other parts of the world polygamy has been the most common form of marriage, usually in the form of polygyny (a man taking several wives) but occasionally in the form of polyandry (a woman taking several husbands). In some western societies today, same-sex marriage is recognized yet remains a controversial issue.

Definitions

Precise definitions vary historically and between and within cultures: modern understanding emphasizes the legitimacy of sexual relations in marriage, yet the universal and unique attribute of marriage is the creation of affinal ties (in-laws). Traditionally, societies encourage one to marry "out" far enough to strengthen the ties, but "close" enough so that the in-laws are "one of us" or "our kind". One exception to this rule is found in the marriage of royalty, who strengthen their aid through concentration of wealth rather than through affinal ties. Even in this case, the individual was often encouraged to marry "within" close family limits. (Further discussion and reference: Marvin Harris, late, Professor of Anthropology, Columbia University) Marriage remains important as the socially sanctioned bond in a sexual relationship. Marriage is usually conceived as a male-female relationship designed to produce children and successfully socialize them. Historically, most societies have sanctioned polygamy. The West is a major exception. Europe and the United States were monogamous cultures. This was in part a Germanic cultural tradition, a requirement of Christianity (after the sixth century CE), and a mandate of Roman Law. However, Roman Law supported prostitution, concubinage, sex outside of marriage, homosexual sex, and sexual access to slaves. The Christian West formally banned these practices. Globally, most existing societies do not sanction polygamy as a form of marriage. For example, China shifted from allowing polygamy to supporting only monogamy in the 1953 Marriage act after the Communist revolution. Most African and Islamic societies continue to allow polygamy (around 2.0 billion people). This includes India where polygamy is permitted for Muslim citizens. Probably, less than 3% of all Muslim marriages are polygamous. It is increasingly expensive in an Urban setting, but more useful in rural areas where children are a future source of agricultural labor. Most of the world's population live in societies where polygamy is less common and they are overwhelmingly monogamous. Since the latter decades of the 20th century many of society's assumptions about the nature and purpose of marriage and family have been challenged, in particular by gay rights advocacy groups, who disagree with the notion that marriage should be exclusively heterosexual. Some people also argue that marriage may be an unnecessary legal fiction. This is part of the general disruption of traditional families in the West. Since WWII the West has seen a dramatic increase in divorce (6% to over 40% of first marriages), cohabitation without marriage, a growing unmarried population, and children born outside of marriage (5% to over 33% of births), as well as an increase in adultery (8% to over 40%). A system of somewhat serial monogamy has de facto emerged. Still, legally sanctioned non-monogamous marriage arrangements are extremely rare. In modern times, the term marriage is generally reserved for a state sanctioned union (although some people disagree). The phrase legally married can be used to emphasize this point. In the United States there are two methods of receiving state sanction of a marriage: common law marriage and obtaining a marriage license. The vast majority of US states do recognize common law marriage. Many localities do support various types of domestic partnerships. Since the 12th century, marriage or holy matrimony has been a sacrament in the Catholic Church, as well as other Orthodoxies, where it is defined as a relationship between a man and a woman. The Protestant Reformation reformulated marriage as a life-long covenant. Marriage of some kind is found in most societies, and typically married people form a nuclear household, which is often subsequently extended biologically, through children. In the West the nuclear family emerged after 1100. Most non-Western societies have a broader definition of family that includes an extended family network. Alternatively, people may choose to be "childfree". Finally, they may be childless due to infertility, and possibly seek treatment or consider adoption. The term wedlock is a synonym for marriage, and is mainly used in the phrase "out of wedlock" to describe a child born of parents who were not married (see illegitimacy). In the West, marriage has evolved from a life-time covenant that can only be broken by fault or death to a contract that can be broken by either party at will. Other shifts in Western marriage since WWI include: (a) Unlike the 19th century women not men get child custody over 80% of the time, (b) both spouses have a formal duty of spousal support (no longer just the husband), (c) Out-of-Wedlock children have the same rights of support as legitimate children, (d) in most states rape can legally occur within marriage and be punished, (e) husbands may no longer physically discipline or abuse their wife, and (f) in some jurisdictions, property acquired since marriage is not owned by the title-holder. This property is considered marital and to be divided among the spouses by community property law or equitable distribution via the courts. There is a growing debate about the form(s) that marriage should take. Two of the most hotly-debated variants are discussed below: same-sex marriage - legal in some countries such as Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Canada (and the US state of Massachusetts) by 2005 - and, polygamy.

Types of marriages

The type and functions of marriage vary from culture to culture.

Western world

In the United States and Europe, in the 21st century, legally sanctioned marriages are monogamous (although some pockets of society still sanction polygamy socially, if not legally) and divorce is relatively simple and socially sanctioned. In the West, the prevailing view toward marriage today is that it is based on a legal covenant recognising emotional attachment between the partners and entered into voluntarily.

Eastern world

Some societies permit polygamy, in which a man could have multiple wives; even in such societies however, most men have only one. In such societies, having multiple wives is generally considered a sign of wealth and power. The status of multiple wives has varied from one society to another. In the Muslim world, marriage is sanctioned between a man and a woman, but there are verses in chapter 4 of the Qur'an which state that in certain conditions a man is allowed up to four wives. In Muslim societies, the different wives are considered equal and must be treated as such. In Indonesia, the largest Muslim majority state, marriage is allowed between a man and a woman who profess the same faith, while atheists are not allowed to marry. In Imperial China, formal marriage was sanctioned only between a man and a woman, although among the upper classes, the primary wife was an arranged marriage with an elaborate formal ceremony while concubines could be taken on later with minimal ceremony. Only the children from the official union were considered legitimate. To better control population growth after the rise of Communism, only strictly monogamous marital relationships are permitted, although divorce is a relatively simple process.

Polygamy, monogamy, and polyandry

Polyandry (a woman having multiple husbands) occurs very rarely in a few isolated tribal societies with limited resources. These societies include some bands of the Canadian Inuit, although the practice has declined sharply in the 20th century due to the change from tribal religion to the Moravian religion. Societies which permit group marriage are extremely rare, but have existed in utopian societies such as the Oneida Community. However, in 21st century Western cultures, while bigamy is illegal and sexual relations outside marriage are generally frowned-upon, divorce and remarriage have officially been relatively easy to undertake. This has led to a practice called serial monogamy. "Serial monogamy" usually refers to what occurs when a husband, usually of average to high socioeconomic status, divorces an older wife and takes on a younger wife. The younger wife is popularly referred to as the "trophy wife" by many who frown upon the practice. The modern practice of serial monogamy is strikingly similar to the marital practices observed in polygamous societies. Serial monogamy within the LGBT community refers to the practice of having one long-term relationship and then moving on to another. This practice is one of a few options for bisexuals, and is practiced by many gays and lesbians as well. (It can be argued that this is common with heterosexuals who aren't wanting or ready to "settle down" or who question the tradition heterosexual cultural norms of marriage. Whether heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual, these individuals would be offended at the view that their relationships weren't meaningful.)

Traditional cultures

Some traditional cultures still practice marriage by abduction, a form of forced marriage in which a woman who is kidnapped and raped by a man is regarded as his wife. This practice is limited to a few traditional cultures in a small number of countries, and is generally regarded as abhorrent by other cultures.

Marriage today in Belgium, The Netherlands, Canada, Spain

:Main article: Same-sex marriage These countries have the particular possibility that opposite sex as well as same sex couples may engage in marriage. Although same-sex unions have been recorded in the history of a number of cultures, marriages between same-sex partners were rare or nonexistent in other cultures. Same-sex marriage remains infrequent worldwide, especially as it is not offered in most countries. However, some countries recognize same-sex marriage, including the Netherlands, Belgium, Canada, and Spain; in the United States same-sex marriage is legal in the state of Massachusetts. "Civil unions" are recognized in Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Greenland, Iceland, Germany, France, Portugal, New Zealand and the U.S. states of Vermont and Connecticut, and will be recognized in the United Kingdom from December 2005; a growing number of American states and various localities, such as Maine, recognize domestic partnerships, which offer parity of spousal rights, to different degrees, with marriage.

Unique Practices

Some parts of India follow a custom in which the groom is required to marry with an auspicious plant called Tulsi before a second marriage to overcome inauspicious predictions about the health of the husband. However, the relationship is not consummated and does not affect their ability to remarry later. One should note that this is not a norm found across the entire Indian sub-continent. In the state of Kerala, India, the Nambudiri Brahmin caste traditionally practices henogamy, in which only the eldest son in each family is permitted to marry. In Mormonism, a couple may seal their marriage "for time and for all eternity" through a "sealing" ceremony conducted within the LDS temple. The couple is then believed to be bound to each other in marriage throughout eternity if they live according to their covenants made in the ceremony. Mormonism also allows living persons to act as proxies in the sealing ceremony to "seal" a marriage between ancestors who have been dead for at least one year and who were married during their lifetime. According to LDS theology, it is then up to the deceased individuals to accept or reject this sealing in the spirit world before their eventual resurrection. A living person can also be sealed to his or her deceased spouse, with another person (of the same sex as the deceased) acting as proxy for that deceased individual. Other unusual variations include marriage between a living human and a ghost (Taiwan), a living human and a recently-deceased human with whom they were emotionally involved (France), and between a human being and God (Catholic and Orthodox monasticism). Again, these lack the social meaning of ordinary marriage and belong rather to the realm of religion or (in the case of weddings of dogs to other dogs, Kermit the Frog to Miss Piggy, and the like) pure spectacle.

Recognition

Couples usually seek social sanction for their marriages, and many societies require official approval of a religious or civil body. Sociologists thus distinguish between a marriage ceremony conducted under the auspices of a religion and a state-sanctioned civil marriage. In many jurisdictions the civil marriage ceremony may take place during the religious marriage ceremony, although they are two distinct entities. In most American states the marriage may be officiated by a priest, minister, or religious authority, and in such a case the religious authority acts simultaneously as a religious authority and an agent of the state. In some countries such as France, Germany and Russia, it is necessary to be married by the state before having a religious ceremony. Some states allow civil marriages which are not allowed by many religions, such as same-sex marriages or civil unions, and marriage may also be created by the operation of the law alone as in common-law marriage, which is a judicial recognition that two people living as domestic partners are entitled to the effects of marriage. Conversely, there are examples of people who have a religious ceremony which is not recognized civilly. Examples include widows who stand to lose a pension if they remarry and so undergo a marriage in the eyes of God, homosexual couples, some sects of Mormonism which recognize polygamy, retired couples that would lose pension benefits if legally married, Muslim men who wish to engage in polygamy that is condoned in some situations under Islam and immigrants who do not wish to alert to the immigration authorities that they are married either to a spouse they are leaving behind or because the complexity of immigration laws may make it difficult for spouses to visit on a tourist visa. In Europe it has traditionally been the churches' office to make marriages official by registering them. Hence, it was a significant step towards a clear separation of church and state and also an intended and effective weakening of the Christian churches' role in Germany, when Chancellor Otto von Bismarck introduced the Zivilehe (civil marriage) in 1875. This law made the declaration of the marriage before an official clerk of the civil administration (both spouses affirming their will to marry) the procedure to make a marriage legally valid and effective, and reduced the clerical marriage to a mere private ceremony.

Rights and obligations

Typically, marriage is the institution through which people join together their lives in emotional and economic ways through forming a household. It often confers rights and obligations with respect to raising children, holding property, sexual behavior, kinship ties, tribal membership, relationship to society, inheritance, emotional intimacy, and love. Marriage sometimes: establishes the legal father of a woman's child; establishes the legal mother of a man's child; gives the husband or his family control over the wife's sexual services, labor, and/or property; gives the wife or her family control over the husband's sexual services, labor, and/or property; establishes a joint fund of property for the benefit of children; establishes a relationship between the families of the husband and wife. No society does all of these; no one of these is universal (see Edmund Leach's article in "Marriage, Family, and Residence," edited by Paul Bohannan and John Middleton). Marriage has traditionally been a prerequisite for starting a family, which usually serves as the building block of a community and society. Thus, marriage not only serves the interests of the two individuals, but also the interests of their children and the society of which they are a part. In most of the world's major religions, marriage is traditionally a prerequisite for sexual intercourse: unmarried people are not supposed to have sex, which is then called fornication and is socially discouraged or even criminalized. In practice, most of these societies have tacitly accepted sex between unmarried people if they marry as soon as pregnancy occurs (see shotgun wedding). Sex with a married person other than one's spouse, called adultery, is even less acceptable and has also often been criminalized, especially in the case of a person who is a representative of the government (e.g. president, prime minister, political representative, public-school teacher, military officer).

Marriage restrictions

Societies have always placed restrictions on marriage to relatives, though the degree of prohibited relationship varies widely. In almost all societies marriage between brothers and sisters is forbidden, with Ancient Egyptian, Hawaiian, and Inca royalty being the rare exception. In many societies marriage between some first cousins is preferred, while at the other extreme, the medieval Catholic church prohibited marriage between distant cousins. The present day Catholic Church still maintains a standard of required distance (in both consanguinity and affinity) for marriage. Marriage gives the couple various rights allotted only to married individuals in many societies. In Indian Hindu community, especially in the Brahmin caste, marrying person of the same Gothra is prohibited, since persons belonging to the same Gothra are said to have identical patrilineal descension. In ancient India when Gurukul was in existence, the shishyas (the pupils) were advised against marrying any of Guru's children as shishyas were considered Guru's children and it would be considered marriage among siblings (though there were exceptions like Arjuna's son Abhimanyu marrying Uttra, the dance student of Arjuna in Mahabharatha). Many societies have also adopted other restrictions on whom one can marry, such as prohibitions on marrying persons with the same surname, or persons with the same sacred animal. Anthropologists refer to these sort of restrictions as exogamy. One exception to this pattern is in ancient Egypt, where marriage between brothers and sisters was permitted in the royal family; this privilege was denied commoners and may have served to concentrate wealth and power in one family (See also incest). The consequence of the incest-taboo is exogamy, the requirement to marry someone from another group. Anthropologists have thus pointed out that the incest taboo may serve to promote social solidarity. The "one man one woman" model for the Christian marriage was advocated by Saint Augustine (354-439 AD) with his published letter The Good of Marriage. To discourage polygamy, he wrote it "was lawful among the ancient fathers: whether it be lawful now also, I would not hastily pronounce. For there is not now necessity of begetting children, as there then was, when, even when wives bear children, it was allowed, in order to a more numerous posterity, to marry other wives in addition, which now is certainly not lawful." (chapter 15, paragraph 17) Sermons from St. Augustine's letters were popular and influential. In 534 AD Roman Emperor Justinian criminalized all but monogamous man/woman sex within the confines of marriage. The Justinian Code was the basis of European law for 1,000 years. Societies have also at times required marriage from within a certain group. Anthropologists refer to these restrictions as endogamy. An example of such restrictions would be a requirement to marry someone from the same tribe. Racist laws adopted by some societies in the past, such as Nazi-era Germany, apartheid-era South Africa and most of the southern United States and Utah prior to 1967, which prohibited marriage between persons of different races (miscegenation) could also be considered examples of endogamy. As tolerance of homosexuality has become more widespread in Western cultures, some governments have recognized a right to marriage by people of the same sex. This has in turn created a general backlash, most notably in Great Britain, where the Church of England has officially banned gay marriage, and in the United States, where several states have specifically outlawed gay marriage, often by popular referenda. At the United States federal level, the Defense of Marriage Act has created a federal definition of marriage as between a man and a woman as well as allowing one state not to recognize a same sex marriage recognized by another state. Arguments have been made that the DOMA conflicts with the United States Constitution, and could conceivably be overturned on this basis. To ensure this does not happen, some, including President George W. Bush, support amending the Federal Constitution to prohibit same-sex marriages. Some countries and one U.S. state currently recognize same-sex marriage, and legal challenges to marriage restrictions may soon expand the recognition of same-sex marriages to Washington, New York, and other states. Nevertheless, while [http://www.pollingreport.com/civil.htm opinion polls] indicate support by the general majority of Europe and North America for legal recognition of homosexual partnerships for the purpose of granting rights and immunities equivalent to those of heterosexual marriages, [http://www.pollingreport.com/civil.htm the same polls] indicate wide majorities, as much as two-thirds, disapproving of a change to the legal definition of marriage to include homosexual unions.

Termination

Many societies provide for the termination of marriage through divorce. Marriages can also be annulled or cancelled, which is a legal proceeding that establishes that a marriage was invalid from its beginning.

Weddings

The ceremony in which a marriage is enacted and announced to the community is called a wedding. A wedding in which a couple marry in the "eyes of the law" is called a civil marriage. Religions also facilitate weddings, in the "eyes of God." In many European and some Latin American countries, where someone chooses a religious ceremony, they must also hold that ceremony separate from the civil ceremony. Certain countries, like Belgium and the Netherlands even legally demand that the civil marriage has to take place before any religious marriage. In some countries, notably the United States, the United Kingdom, the Republic of Ireland and Spain both ceremonies can be held together; the officiant at the religious and community ceremony also serves as an agent of the state to enact the civil marriage. That does not mean that the state is "recognizing" religious marriages; the "civil" ceremony just takes place at the same time as the religious ceremony. Often this involves simply signing a register during the religious ceremony. If that civil element of the full ceremony is left out for any reason, in the eyes of the law no marriage took place, irrespective of the holding of the religious ceremony. Whilst some countries, such as Australia, permit marriages to be held in private and at any location, others, including England, require that the civil ceremony be conducted in a place specially sanctioned by law (ie. a church or registry office), and be open to the public. An exception can be made in the case of marriage by special emergency licence, which is normally granted only when one of the parties is terminally ill. Rules about where and when persons can marry vary from place to place.Some regulations require that one of the parties reside in the locality of the registry office. Because of Australia's very lax rules on marriage, many famous people, including Michael Jackson and Elton John, have opted to marry in Australia, so as to have a private ceremony. The way in which a marriage is enacted has changed over time, as has the institution of marriage itself. In Europe during the Middle Ages, marriage was enacted by the couple promising verbally to each other that they would be married to each other; the presence of a priest or other witnesses was not required if circumstances prevented it. This promise was known as the "verbum". As part of the Reformation, the role of recording marriages and setting the rules for marriage passed to the state. By the 1600s many of the Protestant European countries had heavy state involvement in marriage.

Marriage and religion

:Main article: Religious aspects of marriage Many religions have extensive teachings regarding marriage. Most Christian churches give some form of blessing to a marriage; the wedding ceremony typically includes some sort of pledge by the community to support the couple's relationship. In the Roman Catholic Church "Holy Matrimony" is considered to be one of the seven sacraments, in this case one that the spouses bestow upon each other in front of a priest and members of the community as witnesses during a "Nuptial Mass". In the Eastern Orthodox church, it is one of the Mysteries, and is seen as an ordination and a martyrdom. In marriage, Christians see a picture of the relationship between Jesus and the Church. In Judaism, marriage is viewed as a coming together of two families, therefore prolonging the religion and cultural heritage of the Jewish people. Islam also recommends marriage highly; among other things, it helps in the pursuit of spiritual perfection. The Bahá'í Faith sees marriage as a foundation of the structure of society, and considers it both a physical and spiritual bond that endures into the afterlife. Hinduism sees marriage as a sacred duty that entails both religious and social obligations. By contrast, Buddhism does not encourage or discourage marriage, although it does teach how one might live a happily married life. It's also worth noting that different religions have different beliefs as regards the breakup of marriage. For example, the Roman Catholic Church does not permit divorce, because in its eyes, a marriage is forged by God. The Church states that what God joins together, humans cannot sunder. As a result, people who get a civil divorce are still considered married in the eyes of the Catholic Church, which does not allow them to remarry, even if they are allowed a civil marriage. In some special cases, however, Catholics can be permitted an annulment. With a nullity, religions and the state often apply different rules, meaning that a couple, for example, could receive a divorce from the state and not have their marriage annulled by the Catholic Church because the state disagrees with the church over whether an annulment could be granted in a particular case. This produces the phenomenon of Catholics getting Church annulments simultaneously with state divorces, allowing the ex-partners to marry other people in the eyes of both the Church and the State. Islam does allow divorce; however, there is a verse stated in the Qur'an describing divorce as the least desirable act allowed between people. The general rule is for a man to allow his wife to stay until the end of her menstrual period or for 3 months if she so wishes after the divorce. During this period they would be divorced in that they would simply be living under the same roof but not functioning as man and wife. The Qur'an scholars suggest that the main point is to prevent any decisions by the woman from being affected by hormonal fluctuations as well as to allow any heated arguments or differences to be resolved in a civil manner before the marriage is completely terminated. However, there is no obligation on the woman to stay, if she so wishes she may leave. The man is also obligated to give his wife a gift or monetary sum equivalent to at least half her mahr (gift or monetary sum which is given to the wife at the commencement of the marriage). Specific conditions as to how a divorce is conducted also apply if a woman is pregnant, or has given birth just prior to the divorce. refer Qur'an 2:228-232, 236, 237, 241 and 65:1-7. See also 4:35.

Marriage and economics

The economics of marriage have changed over time. Historically, in many cultures the family of the bride had to provide a dowry to pay a man for marrying their daughter. In other cultures, the family of the groom had to pay a bride price to the bride's family for the right to marry the daughter. In some cultures, dowries and bride prices are still demanded today. In both cases, the financial transaction takes place between the groom (or his family) and the bride's family; the bride has no part in the transaction and often no choice in whether or not to participate in the marriage. In many modern legal systems, two people who marry have the choice between keeping their property separate or combining their property. In the latter case, called community property, when the marriage ends by divorce each owns half; if one partner dies the surviving partner owns half and for the other half inheritance rules apply. In some legal systems, the partners in a marriage are "jointly liable" for the debts of the marriage. This has a basis in a traditional legal notion called the "Doctrine of Necessaties" whereby a husband was responsible to provide necessary things for his wife. Where this is the case, one partner may be sued to collect a debt for which they did not expressly contract. Critics of this practice note that debt collection agencies can abuse this claiming an unreasonably wide range of debts to be expenses of the marriage. The cost of defense and the burden of proof is then placed on the non-contracting party to prove that the expense is not a debt of the family. The respective maintenance obligations, during and eventually after a marriage, are regulated in most jurisdictions; see alimony. It is possible to analyze the institution of marriage using economic theory; see [http://www.best.com/~ddfr/Academic/Price_Theory/PThy_Chapter_21/PThy_Chap_21.html David Friedman, Price Theory: Chapter 21: The Economics of Love and Marriage].

Criticisms of marriage

Under the principle of church-state separation, libertarians criticize the government regulation of and the state's involvement in marriage, because many now consider marriage a religious institution. The libertarian view is that if government must recognize marriage at all, it should be treated as a contract like any other between two freely consenting parties, which would essentially reduce family law to a subset of contract law. The religious aspects should remain the province of one's church and that church's ecclesiastical courts (if it has them). Relatively new legal developments like palimony have already tilted certain governments slightly in this direction. Other commentators have argued that marriage has a significant dark side. They sometimes condemn individual local practices and sometimes even the entire institution of marriage. A good many of these are feminist critiques, which claim that in many cultures marriage is particularly disadvantageous to women. [http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm] With the divorce rate half that of the marriage rate, [http://www.census.gov/prod/2003pubs/p60-225.pdf] 15% of men are awarded custody, unchanged since 1994 (cf. p. 1), and [http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/income_wealth/004012.html] annual support payments increasing 18% to $40 billion paid by 7.8 million separated parents, 6.6 million are fathers with [http://www.ssa.gov/OP_Home/ssact/title04/0458.htm] cash incentives of up to $4.1 billion available to states that create support and arrearage orders, and then collect (cf. 6B, 6C, & 6D), it may help to explain the conclusion of a [http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SOOU/SOOU2004.pdf] recent marriage report by Rutgers University. "Continuing decline of the marriage rate accompanied by an increase in the number of cohabiting couples; a small increase in the percentage of children living in fragile families and born out of wedlock; and a sharp increase among teenage boys in their acceptance of unwed childbearing and a slight decrease in agreement among teenagers, especially girls, that "living together before getting married is a good idea." says 2004 Social Health of Marriage in America. Marriage strike behavior although not explicit. Further, during a litigated divorce allegations of domestic violence, child custody, paternity, alimony, child support, fathers' rights create additional concerns, especially with divorce attorneys rates up to $300.00 per hour. [http://www.eleventhdistrictcourt.state.nm.us/stats/mckinley/dvcumulative.pdf] 85% of orders of protections are awarded to females, 7% of petitions denied. Since the enactment of the Violence Against Women Act of 1995, [http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/about.htm] more than $1 billion spent to police and prosecutors. Since 1995, when a wife feels fearful, it is domestic violence. Divorce attorneys practice leveraging this assault charge into an order of protection to get a spouse, usually the man, out of the home, physically separating him from children and his property. In many areas of the world, when a woman was in her early teens her father arranged a marriage for her in return for a bride price, sometimes to a man twice her age who was a stranger to her. Her older husband then became her guardian and she could be cut off almost completely from her family. The woman had little or no say in the marriage negotiations, which might even have occurred without her knowledge. Some traditions allowed a woman who failed to bear a son to be given back to her father. This reflected the importance of bearing children and extending the family to succeeding generations. Often both parties are expected to be virgins before their marriage, but in many cultures women were more strictly held to this standard. One old tradition in Europe, which survived into the twentieth century in rural Greece, was for this to be proven by hanging the bloody bed sheet from the wedding night from the side of the house. Similarly, sexual fidelity is very often expected in marriage, but sometimes the expectations and penalties for women have been harsher than those for men. In some traditions marriage could be a traumatic, unpleasant turn of events for a girl. "The Lot of Women" written in Athens in the mid 5th century BC laments this situation: :Young women, in my opinion, have the sweetest existence known to mortals in their father's homes, for their innocence always keeps children safe and happy. But when we reach puberty and can understand, we are thrust out and sold away from our ancestral gods and from our parents. Some go to strange men's homes, others to foreigner's, some to joyless houses, some to hostile. And all this once the first night has yoked us to our husband we are forced to praise and say that all is well. On the other hand, marriage has often served to assure the woman of her husband's continued support and enabled her to focus more attention on the raising of her children. This security has typically been greater when and where divorce has been more difficult to obtain. Some older wedding traditions still survive in some form in today's ceremonies. Women may still be symbolically "given away" by their fathers. Some brides still vow to "love and obey" their husbands and some bridegrooms vow to "care for" their wives. A groom might remove his bride's garter, a symbol of her virginity, as a public representation of his claim on her sexuality. Brides toss their bouquets towards a group of single women, who compete to catch the bouquet; the woman who catches the bouquet is believed to have the good fortune to be the next woman to get married. One very common tradition is that of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold of their house. Investigating the origin of this tradition around 100 AD, Plutarch postulated three different possibilities. The first was that the act of picking up the bride was a symbolic re-enactment of the Rape of the Sabines. Another was that it symbolized the bride's reluctance to surrender her virginity, which she did only under duress. And the last suggested marital faithfulness - having been carried into the house by her husband she would only leave it the same way. This of course was in the context of a patriarchal culture in which it was said that a woman should only leave her house when she was so old that people would not ask whose wife she was, but whose mother. It has also been said to originate from a Roman belief that it was bad luck for a bride to stumble while entering her new home. These traditions, though often attacked by critics and scholars, nevertheless remain a treasured part of many ceremonies, cherished by both bride and groom.

Pragmatic marriage

A Pragmatic (or 'Arranged') marriage that is facilitated by formal procedures of family or group politics. A responsible authority sets up or encourages the marriage. The authority could be parents, family, a religious figure or a consensus. The former two often start the process with informal pressure, social pressure, whilst the latter two often start the process with a formal system or statement. In both cases, the authority has a compelling veto over the marriage, and this system is socially supported by the rest of community so that to deny it is extreme and drastic. Once declared, an engagement is implicit, which follows through with a formal marriage ceremony. Those who uphold pragmatic marriage frequently state that it is traditional, that it upholds social morals, that it is good for the families involved.

Differences of opinion

Those who believe in romantic marriage will often criticize pragmatic marriage, considering it is oppressive, inhuman, or immoral. Defenders of pragmatic marriage disagree, often pointing to cultures where the success rate of pragmatic marriages is seen to be high, and holding that nearly all couples learn to love and care for each other very deeply. Those who believe in pragmatic marriage also have some traditional criticisms of romantic marriage, saying that it is short-term, overly based on sexual lust or immoral. Defenders of romantic marriage would hold that it is preferable to achieve an emotional bond before entering into a lifelong commitment. Cultures that aspire to create relationships after couples marry are those with institutionalized practices of pragmatic marriage. Cultures that come to think that marriages should only be tried once a short-term compatibility already exists adopt romantic marriages. It is debatable whether either method is more correct or that either set of ideas about marriage is more right - the underlying assumptions are different. Much criticism of the "other" form of marriage to what one person accepts is based on misunderstanding assumptions about marriage made from different cultural starting-points and what different groups of people consider marriage to be.

External links

- [http://Ouchmytoe.rediffblogs.com Funny Marriage Advice] - Ouchmytoe - A Blog on Marriage & the problems it brings
- [http://dontmarry.com/ Don't Marry] - A dissenting opinion on the social convention of marriage in Western society.
- [http://www.unmarried.org The Alternatives to Marriage Project ] Advocating for equality and fairness for unmarried people
- [http://nikah.com/marriage/default.asp Muslim Marriage Information]
- [http://www.acfc.org/ The American Coalition for Fathers and Children (ACFC)]
- [http://www.zionwedding.com Jewish Matrimony and Personals] - Jewish Matrimony and Personals
- [http://www.islamimatrimonials.com/muslim_marriage_rights.htm Muslim Matrimonial] - Rights of Spouses in Islam
- [http://www.freedomtomarry.org/ The Freedom to Marry Coalition]
- [http://weddings.iloveindia.com/features/types-of-hindu-marriages.html Types of Hindu Marriages]
- [http://marriage.rutgers.edu/publicat.htm The National Marriage Project]
- [http://nikahsearch.com/marriage/marriage.htm Marriage in Islam] - Hadith, Marriage Conditions and Etiquettes of Muslim Marriage
- [http://www.fatherhood.hhs.gov/charting02/Family.htm#tff1.1 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Survey]
- [http://www.nikah.com Muslim Matrimonial Service]
- [http://www.islamfrominside.com/Pages/Articles/Marriage%20in%20Islam.html Marriage (Nikah) in Islam]
- [http://www.muslimmatrimonial.com Muslim marriage and Advice]
- [http://www.growthtrac.com Christian Marriage Resources at Growthtrac]
- [http://nikahsearch.com/marriage/conditions.htm Conditions of Muslim Marriage]
- [http://family-marriage-counseling.com The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory]
- [http://www.fisheaters.com/holymatrimony.html The Catholic Sacrament of Holy Matrimony] includes the rite used before Vatican II and by traditional Catholics today
- [http://www.chabad.org/article.asp?AID=313716 Laws and Customs of the Jewish Wedding] chabad.org
- [http://www.originalintent.org/edu/marriage.php Treatise on Common Law Marriage] Category:Divorce Category:Family
- Category:Wedding ko:혼인 ja:結婚

Wedding traditions

Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes and often reflect a particular view of marriage.

Italian customs

At the start of a typical Italian wedding reception, the bridal party and the rest of the guests are separated for an hour and served cocktails. The food during cocktail hour is served in a buffet setup. At the conclusion of cocktail hour, the guests will gather in the main dining room. The bridal party is introduced as couples, lining up as they come into the room to form what will become a pathway for the bride and groom. The newlywed couple is introduced with much fanfare and they take their first dance, with the bridal party following soon after, who are then ultimately joined by the rest of the guests. Afterwards, everyone is seated, speeches are made by friends and family, and everyone champagne toasts the wedded couple. Food is plentiful during most weddings, and Italian custom is no exception. Between courses, the MC will encourage dancing and play various games. After the bulk of the courses have passed, it is time for the cake cutting, which ushers in the dessert course. In Sicilian customs, the dessert course is often presented as a Viennese Table, a dazzling array of pastries, fruits, coffees, cakes, (etc) are presented in great quantity with much celebration. This is often called Vienna Hour. After dessert, more dancing commences, gifts are given, and the guests eventually begin to leave. As the guests leave, they hand envelopes of money to the bride and groom, who return the gift with a wedding favor, a small token of appreciation.

United States customs

Christian weddings

A Christian or mainstream wedding and reception follow a similar pattern to the Italian wedding. Customs and traditions vary with part of the country, ethnic group, social group, and so on, but components include the following:
- The bride's family sends engraved invitations to the wedding guests, addressed by hand to show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion.
- Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day.
- A wedding ceremony takes place at a church or other favorite location, such as an attractive outdoor venue. At the wedding reception following the ceremony, sometimes at the same location but sometimes at a different venue:
- The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
- Usually snacks or a meal are served while the guests and bridal party mingle.
- Often the best man and/or maid of honor toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts. Champagne, sparkling cider, or nonalcoholic carbonated drinks are usually provided for this purpose.
- If dancing is provided, the bride and groom first dance together. Often further protocol is followed, where they dance first with their respective mother and father, then possibly with the maid of honor and best man; then the bride and groom rejoin while the parents of the bride and groom join the dance and the best man and maid of honor dance together; then other attendants join in; then finally everyone is entitled to dance. Dancing continues throughout the reception. Music is sometimes provided by a live band or musical ensemble, sometimes by a disc jockey with stereo equipment.
- In some cultures, the money dance takes place, in which it is expected and encouraged for guests to pin money onto the young bride and groom to help them get started in their new lives in a new household. In other cultures, this would be considered vulgar.
- The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter--often a special silver keepsake cutter purchased or given as a gift for the occasion--and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake. They then entwine arms and feed each other a bite of cake.
- In some social groups, the bride and groom smear cake on each other's faces at this time. In other social groups, this would be considered vulgar.
- The bride tosses her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women; the woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In some social groups, the process is repeated for unmarried men with the groom tossing the bride's garter for the same purpose.
- Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.

Wedding gifts

Originally, the purpose of inviting guests was to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremony and vows and to share in the bride and groom's joy and celebration. Gifts for the bride and groom are optional, although most guests attempt to give at least a token gift of their best wishes. Some brides and grooms and families feel that, for the expense and effort they put into showing their guests a good time and to wine and dine them, the guests should reciprocate by providing nice gifts. No etiquette book or rule condones this belief. The couple often registers for gifts at a favorite store well in advance of their wedding. This allows them to create a list of preferred or needed household items, usually including a favorite pattern for china, for silverware, and for crystalware; often including linen preferences, pots and pans, and similar items. With older brides and grooms who might already be independent and have lived on their own, even owning their own homes, they sometimes register at hardware or home improvement stores. This is intended to make it easy for guests who wish to purchase gifts to feel comfortable that they are purchasing gifts that the newlyweds will truly appreciate. Etiquette rules prohibit the bride and groom from soliciting gifts, which would preclude them listing their place of registry, for example, in their wedding invitations. Guests are supposed to ask for this information if they want it; however, many couples do include the information in their invitations with the intention of making it more convenient for guests. Many older guests, often find bridal registries vulgar. They can be seen as an anathema to traditional notions behind gift buying, such as contravening the belief that "one should be happy for what they receive", taking away the element of surprise, and leading to present buying as a type of competition, as the couple know the costs of each individual item.

African-American customs

Jumping the broom developed out of the institution of slavery in the United States. Slaves had no right to legal marriage; slaveholders considered slaves property and feared that legal marriage and family bonds had the potential to lead to organization and revolt. Marriage rituals, however, were important events to the Africans, who came in many cases come from richly-ceremonial African cultures. When faced with the loss of the right to marry, many created new rituals with what was on hand. Taking marriage vows in the presence of a witness and then leaping over the handle of a broom became the common practice to create a recognized union. This symbolized the crossing of a threshold and the taking of a "leap of faith." Brooms are also symbols of the hearth, the center of the new family being created. Jumping the broom has become a practice in many modern weddings between Black Americans.

Romanian customs

Lăutari are traditional musicians performing traditional Gypsy songs. The music of the lăutari establishes the structure of the elaborate Romanian peasant weddings, as well as providing entertainment (not only music, but magic tricks, stories, bear training, etc.) during the less eventful parts of the ritual. The lăutari also function as guides through the wedding rituals and moderate any conflicts that may arise during what can be a long, alcohol-fueled party. Over a period of nearly 48 hours, this can be very physically strenuous. Following custom almost certainly dating back at least to the Middle Ages, most lăutari rapidly spend the fees from these wedding ceremonies on extended banquets for their friends and families over the days immediately following the wedding.

Chinese customs

Although Chinese wedding customs vary from province to province, and from region to region, there are some basic and common themes in the traditional Chinese wedding. Both the bride and groom are usually dressed in red, as red is the color of celebration and good fortune. The bride, with a red veil or large embroidered hankerchief over her head (much like the Western custom of a white wedding veil), and is lead by the groom to where the parents are seated. Once there, the couple then kneels and kow-tows to their parents, and to their ancestors - taking note to bow and kow-tow to all four directions (north, south, east and west). They will also pour tea and serve it to their parents, which then the parents accept and gives the couple a red envelope (or hong-bao) filled with cash. Usually, the mothers will take this opportunity to also give the bride many pieces of gold jewelry or heirlooms. After this ceremony, it is considered that the couple is married, and the family and guests spend the evening feasting and drinking all night long. During this meal, the bride will change her outfit several times; generally a new outfit for each course. This shows her new family, and her guests her wealth and status. Often times, many games will be played during this banquet. Guests give the bride and groom gifts of cash, stuffed in red packets or envelopes. In more recent years, a new custom has emerged where the wedding guests will escort or sneak into the new couple's room, to play games and pranks. As Chinese custom requires that hosts (in this case, the newlyweds) can not be rude to their guests, and can not ask them to leave - this celebration can last for several hours. Also see Chinese tea culture, Red packet (or envelope)

Scottish customs

Scotland has historically been a favourite place to get married, due to the fact that in Scotland, parents' permission is not required if both the bride and groom are old enough to legally be married (16). In England it was historically the case that if either was 16 or 17 then the permission of parents had to be sought. Thus Scotland, and especially the blacksmith's at Gretna Green, became a very popular place for couples to elope to, especially those under 18 and usually living in England. Gretna Green now hosts hundreds of weddings a year and is Scotland's third most popular tourist attraction. A Church of Scotland wedding and reception generally follows a fairly established set of customs and practices although most couples chose to adapt these to their own personal circumstances and preferences. The days of slavishly following etiquette and now largely behind us, although no doubt Granny might disagree. Typical customs:
- The bride's family sends invitations on behalf of the couple to the wedding guests, addressed by hand. The couple may send the invitations themselves, especially if they are more middle-aged. The invites will specify if the invitation is for ceremony and/or reception and/or evening following the wedding breakfast at the reception.
- Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day. Alternatively, the couple may register at department store and have a list of gifts there. The shop then organises delivery, usually to the bride's parents' house or to the reception venue.
- A wedding ceremony takes place at a church, registry office or possibly another favourite location, such as a hilltop. In this regard Scotland differs significantly from England where only pre-approved public locations may be used for the wedding ceremony. Most ceremonies take place mid afternoon and last about half an hour during which the marriage schedule is signed by the couple and two witnessess (usually the best man and chief bridesmaid.
- The newly wed couple usually leave the ceremony to the sound of bagpipes.
- There is a wedding reception following the ceremony, usually at a different venue.
- The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
- Usually a drink is served while the guests and bridal party mingle. The drink tends to be whisky with a non alcoholic alternative.
- The best man and bride's father toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes, usually humorous. The groom then follows with a response on behalf of his bride. Champagne is usually provided for the toast.
- There is nearly always a dancing following the meal. Usually in Scotland this takes the form of a ceilidh, a night of informal traditional Scottish dancing in couples and groups to live traditional music. The first dance is led by the bride and groom, followed by the rest of the bridal party and finally the guests.
- The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake.
- Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
- A sprig of white heather (Calluna Vulgaris) is usually worn as a buttonhole for good luck.
- It is the norm for the groom and much of the male bridal party and guests to wear kilts, although suits are also worn. Kilts and Highland dress are often hired for this purpose.

Wedding gifts

Originally, the purpose of inviting guests was to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremony and vows and to share in the bride and groom's happy day. Guests are generally expected to bring a gift of their best wishes. The couple often registers for gifts at a favourite store well in advance of their wedding. This allows them to create a list of preferred or needed household items, and does tend to reduce the duplication of gifts. Though, Bridal Registries, particularly by older people, can be seen as vulgar. Taking away from traditional notions of present giving, such as one should be grateful for what they receive, the element of surprise, recipients knowing the cost of a present. It has led to the more controversial practice of couples openly asking for guests to give them money not presents, in cultures where this is not the established norm. Apocryphal stories abound about people actually making profits off their weddings and sending invitations with space for people to fill in their credit card details.

Recent Weddings in Scotland

A selection of well-known people who have got married in Scotland recently Madonna (entertainer) and Guy Ritchie (2000); J. K. Rowling (2001); Stella McCartney (2003); Gordon Sumner and Trudie Styler; Ewan McGregor.

External links

- [http://www.visitscotland.com/aboutscotland/gettingmarried/ Getting Married in Scotland]
- [http://www.siliconglen.com/culture/weddings.html Scottish Traditional Wedding information]
- [http://www.chabad.org/article.asp?AID=313716 Laws and Customs of the Jewish Wedding] chabad.org Category:Wedding

Same-sex marriage

Same-sex marriage is marriage between individuals who are of the same legal or biological sex. It is also called gender-neutral marriage, equal marriage, and gay marriage (favored by proponents, along with just marriage), and homosexual marriage (sometimes favored by opponents). These terms may have different connotations, and may be favored by various audiences. For discussion of other forms of civil and religious same-sex unions distinct from marriage, see the articles linked in the pertinent section below. In the late 1990s and early 2000s, progress towards and bans of same-sex marriage created a topic of debate all over the world. Currently, same-sex marriages are recognized nationwide in four countries: Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Spain; and also in the state of Massachusetts in the United States (although these marriages have no legal recognition at the federal level in the US). The Republic of South Africa also is set to join them by December 2006 as a result of several recent court rulings in favour of same-sex marriage. When it does, an estimated 155 million people worldwide, or approximately 2.5% of the world's total population, will live in places where same-sex marriage exists. Civil unions and other forms of legal recognition for same-sex couples, which offer most if not all the rights accorded in a civil marriage, exist in the majority of countries in Europe, parts of South America (Argentina, Brazil), regions of Oceania (Australia, New Zealand), and additional territories in North America (CA, CT, D.C., HI, ME, NJ, VT). The article below defines same-sex marriage but also presents the arguments for and against the institution.

Terminology

Some consider the terms "gay marriage" and "homosexual marriage" to be inaccurate in referring to this issue since homosexuals may seek an opposite-sex marriage and non-homosexuals may seek a same-sex marriage. The term gay is variously used to refer to only gay men, to gay men and lesbians, and to LGB or LGBT people in general. Aside from the semantic issues concerning bisexuality, in the case of an intersex or transgender partner, an otherwise heterosexual marriage could be classifed either legally or genetically as a same-sex marriage. The term "same-gender marriage" can be seen to be problematic when gender and characteristic sex diverge. For example, a transman is considered legally a woman in certain countries or jurisdictions. Thus if he married a man, it would be considered an "opposite sex marriage" in those jurisdictions, though he and his partner would be the same gender. In other countries or jurisdictions he would be considered a man, so his marriage would be a same-sex marriage. The term "gender-neutral marriage" is preferred by many in politics and media, as it could really describe a marriage between any two adults. Some activists foresee a time when the law is "neutral" to the perceived "sexist" status of marriage in the U.S. Proponents of same-sex marriage may argue that the correct term for same-sex marriage is simply "marriage", though their opponents argue that such conflation of same-sex and opposite-sex marriage is a loaded term, and a misunderstanding of the traditional definition of marriage. They further assert that it is a threat to the institution of traditional marriage. Proponents of traditional marriage believe that such gender confusion is a product of modern society and that the traditional Western definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman is clear. One proposed solution is to do away with the word "marriage" and refer to all legal marriages (regardless of gender) as civil partnerships. Mixed marriage: the term "mixed marriage" is usually not used in reference to the same-sex marriage debate. It does not refer to marriage of two persons of different genders, but rather to the marriage of two persons of different religions, cultures or races.

History of same-sex unions

For detailed information, see History of homosexuality and Same-sex marriage timeline.

Asia

Same-gender romantic love or sexual desire has been recorded since ancient times in the east. Such desire often took the form of same-sex unions, usually between men, and often included some difference in age (there is far less information available on relationships among women in ancient times. There are a number of possible reasons for this: an attitude that women were not important enough to write about; or that same-sex attraction between women was not valued as it was between men; or that women were not afforded equal status with men, so that, while men were free to pursue sexual and romantic pleasure both within and without marriage, women often were not). In China, especially in the southern province of Fujian where male love was especially cultivated, men would marry youths in elaborate ceremonies. The marriages would last a number of years, at the end of which the elder partner would help the younger find a (female) wife and settle down to raise a family. Generally, this practice was reflective of the value Chinese culture placed on the reciprocal relationship between benevolent elders teaching and guiding the obedient younger members of society See also:
- Homosexuality in China
- Homosexuality in Japan

Classical Europe

Main article: Pederasty There has been a long history of same-sex unions in the Western world. That many early western societies tolerated, and even celebrated, same-sex relationships is well-established, though not necessarily well-known. Evidence of same-sex marriage, however, is less clear, but there exists some evidence, often controversial, of same-sex marriages in ancient Rome and Greece. In Hellenic Greece, the common pederastic relationships between Greek men (erastes) and youths (eromenos) who had come of age were, it has been argued, analogous to marriage in several aspects. The age of the youth was similar to the age at which women married (the mid-teens), and the relationship could only be undertaken with the consent of the father. This consent, just as in the case of a daughter's marriage, was contingent on the suitor's social standing. The relationship, just like a marriage, consisted of very specific social and religious responsibilities, and also had a sexual component. In ancient Rome, the Emperor Nero is reported to have married, at different times, two other men in wedding ceremonies. Other Roman Emperors, including Diocletian, are reported to have done the same thing. Increasingly influential Christianity promoted marriage for procreative purposes, combined with the Roman use of sexuality as a form of dominance, as well as a means to conquer a male enemy through rape, have been linked with the increasing intolerance of homosexuality in Rome. See also Historical pederastic couples

Christian Europe

Historical pederastic couples historian John Boswell considers them an example of an early Christian same-sex union reflective of tolerant early Christians attitudes toward homosexuality based on this icon depicting what some claim is a religious wedding with Jesus as best man and still surviving writings. Most theologians and historians disagree.]] In medieval Europe, homosexual relations were much less open or accepted than in the classical world. However, much like the courtly love a knight might bear for his lady, deep, passionate friendship between people of the same sex was not only possible but celebrated. The "love" in such relationships has traditionally been assumed to be Platonic; but modern scholars often question this. As part of the remains of a floor of a Dominican church in Istanbul were found two gravestones marking the resting places of two knights of the royal chamber of Richard II — Sir William Neville and Sir John Clanvowe, who died days apart in October 1391. Each of their shields holds an identical coat of arms both knights' familial arms side-by-side: "impaled," that is to say, like a married couple's. Thus the companionship and formal union associated with marriage are present; the only doubt is whether sex itself was. [http://www.lrb.co.uk/v27/n11/davi02_.html]

North America

:Main article: Two-Spirit Same-sex marriage has been documented in many societies that were not subject to Christian influence. In North America, among the Native American societies, it has taken the form of two-spirit-type relationships, in which some male members of the tribe, from an early age, heed a calling to take on female gender with all its responsibilities. They are prized as wives by the other men in the tribe, who enter into formal marriages with these two-spirit men. They are also respected as being especially powerful shamans. In the United States during the nineteenth century, there was recognition of the relationship of two women making a long-term commitment to each other and cohabitating, referred to at the time as a Boston marriage; however, the general public at the time likely assumed that sexual activities were not part of the relation.

Africa

In Africa, among the Azande of the Congo, men would marry youths for whom they had to pay a bride-price to the father. These marriages likewise were understood to be of a temporary nature.

Current status of same-sex religious marriage

Congo Most Abrahamic religions disapprove of (and, therefore, do not bless or endorse in any way) same-sex marriages. In this section, only the exceptions are listed, although some adherents of disapproving religions may be individually more sympathetic. In Canada, the issue of same-sex marriage has split the religious community, with the United Church of Canada, the country's largest Protestant denomination, and some elements of the Anglican Church of Canada being supportive. In 2002, the Anglican Diocese of New Westminster in British Columbia (which includes Greater Vancouver) began allowing its churches to bless same-sex unions in marriage-like ceremonies. In response, bishops from Africa, Asia and Latin America, representing more than one-third of Anglican Communion members worldwide, cut their relations with the diocese. Reform Judaism, the largest branch of Judaism outside Israel, allows religious weddings for same-sex couples within their synagogues, provided they are both adherents of the Jewish faith. On July 4, 2005, the General Synod of the United Church of Christ approved a resolution affirming equal marriage rights regardless of gender. The leadership of this denomination made claims like "the 1.3 million member UCC became the largest Christian denomination to approve marriage equality", despite the Synod's lack of authority to speak for the denomination's largely autonomous congregations. The specifics of the resolution did not change any church's religious marriage policies, but urged UCC congregations to advocate for civil marriage equality. In keeping with the polity of that denomination, doctrinal matters like wedding policies remain under the authority of each local congregation. Religious same-sex wedding ceremonies are already performed in Unitarian Universalist churches, some Reform synagogues, some Quaker congregations (mostly associated with unprogrammed meetings; see the main article), and by the Metropolitan Community Church. Jodo Shinshu, the dominant form of Buddhism in Japan (with a significant presence in the United States), states "there is no basic difference between homosexuality and heterosexuality" [http://www.slbuddhist.org/thoughts/2004/#Gay%20Buddhist%20Marriage?]. In accordance with that principle it offers religious rites for same-sex couples. This tradition of accepting same-sex relationships dates back to ancient Japan with only a brief discontinuance during the early 1900s (when Western nations suggested a proscription).

Current status of same-sex civil marriage

United States In the late 20th and early 21st centuries, there has been a growing movement in a number of countries to regard civil-marriages as a right which should be extended to all citizens regardless of sexual orientation. Civil-marriages entail a wide range of entitlements, including social security, health insurance, taxation, inheritance and other benefits unavailable to couples unmarried in the eyes of the law. Restricting legal recognition to opposite-sex couples excludes same-sex couples from gaining legal access to these benefits. Similarly, though certain rights extending from marriage can be replicated by legal means (e.g. by drawing up contracts), many cannot; thus same-sex couples may still face insecurity in areas such as inheritance, hospital visitation and immigration. Lack of legal recognition also makes it more difficult for same-sex couples to adopt children. At present, same-sex marriages are legal nationwide in only four countries: namely the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, and Canada. South Africa is to join them by December 2006. Same-sex marriage is also legal in the U.S. state of Massachusetts.

Africa

South Africa is in the process of reorganizing certain government departments to support gay marriages. As of July 2005, the Department of Home Affairs had completed the design and printing of new forms to allow for same-sex couples to apply for immigration and residence benefits. Several same-sex couples are already legally recognized as married, thanks to the definition of "spouse" in South Africa's Immmigration Act of 2002. Same-sex marriage is handled by means of notarial contract. A contract for "mutual emotional and financial support to the exclusion of all others" is drawn up, and signed in the presence of a Commissioner of Oaths. The cost is about 350 Rand (approx $50 USD) depending on the lawyer that constructs the contract. The agreement is fairly simple and usually only two or three pages. Home Affairs waives application fees in the case of a foreign national marrying a South African citizen, just as with a hetereosexual marriage of the same type. This change has prompted some other slight changes in South African Law. The period for which partners (including hetereosexuals) must be in a relationship before a foreign spouse qualifies to apply for permanent residence has been extended to 5 years. Also, marriage contracts now have a "trial period" where if the couple ends the relationship the benefits to a foreign spouse such as visa status may be retracted with reasonable notice. It is unclear whether US Immigration has a loophole that allows a SA/US couple to apply for US residence as such.

South Africa: Update December 2005

In December 2005, in the case of Minister of Home Affairs v. Fourie, the Constitutional Court of South Africa ruled unanimously that it was unconstitutional to prevent people of the same gender marrying when marriage was permitted for people of opposite gender, and gave the South African Parliament one year to "rework laws allowing same-sex unions. If Parliament does not do this in one year, the Marriage Act will be rewritten to include the words "or spouse" to allow these unions to take place." It was held that although the doctrine of the separation of legislative and judicial powers was important, it could not be used to avoid the court's obligation to provide appropriate relief. The article states that same-sex couples may marry at present, but the marriage is not recognised in law. The ruling stated that the exclusion of same sex couples from marriage had represented a statement by the law that same-sex couples were outsiders, and their relationships less important than those of heterosexual couples, and that the right of the plaintiffs to celebrate their union therefore represented more than a right to enter a legal arrangement with significant consequences. "It represented a major symbolical milestone in their long walk to equality and dignity." (Sources: [http://www.mg.co.za/articlepage.aspx?area=/breaking_news/breaking_news__national&articleid=258183 Mail & Guardian Online, Dec 1 2005, Johannesburg] and [http://www.mg.co.za/articlepage.aspx?area=/breaking_news/breaking_news__national&articleid=258227 update])

Asia

In 2003 the government of the Republic of China (Taiwan) led by the Presidential office proposed legislation granting marriages to same-sex couples under the Human Rights Basic Law; however it faced opposition among cabinet members and has been stalled since. Currently Taiwan does not have any form of same-sex unions. The National People's Congress, legislature of the People's Republic of China (PRC), proposed legislation allowing same-sex marriages in 2003. During the course of the debate the proposal failed to garner the 30 votes needed for a placement on the agenda. Same-sex marriage supporters have vowed to keep pressing for its passage in the PRC. The Communist Party of the Philippines conducted the country’s first same-sex marriage in 2005; however it was not recognized by the government. Within the government there has been fierce debate on the issue of same-sex unions. Generally the Communist Party supports legislation allowing such marriages while the Roman Catholic Church opposes it. The King of Cambodia, Norodom Sihanouk, announced in 2004 that he supports legislation granting marriages to same-sex couples. He is hugely revered among Cambodians; however since his proclamation there have been no legislative efforts to allow them.

Europe

2004 Same-sex civil marriages currently are legally recognized nationwide only in the Netherlands, Belgium and Spain. Belgium extends all the rights of marriage minus adoption to same-sex couples. Spain and the Netherlands, on the other hand, make no distinction whatsoever, and therefore, also extend adoption rights to same-sex couples. In late January 2005, the Swedish government put together a committee of the major political parties to study whether or not the country should allow same-sex marriages. [http://www.gaynz.com/news/default.asp?dismode=article&artid=2188]. After being elected in June 2004, Spanish prime minister Zapatero restated his pre-election pledge to push for legalization of same-sex marriage. [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/3548727.stm] On 1 October, 2004, the Spanish Government approved a bill to legalize same-sex marriage, including adoption rights. The bill received full parliamentary approval on June 30, 2005 and passed into law on July 2. Polls suggest that 62% to 66% of Spain supports same-sex marriage. [http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?2005/04/21/5][http://www.cadenaser.com/articulo.html?xref=20050701csrcsrsoc_3&type=Tes&anchor=][http://www.angus-reid.com/polls/index.cfm/fuseaction/viewItem/itemID/7887] For more information see Same-sex marriage in Spain. On 18 November 2004 the United Kingdom Parliament passed the Civil Partnership Act, which will come into force during 2005 and will allow same-sex couples to register their partnership. The Government stressed during the passage of the Bill that it is not same-sex marriage, and some gay activists have criticised the Act for not using the terminology of marriage. However, the rights and duties of partners under this legislation will be almost exactly the same as for married couples. An amendment proposing similar rights for family members living together was rejected. See Civil unions in the United Kingdom. In May 2004, the largest opposition party in France, the French Socialist Party, announced its support for same-sex marriage. A 2004 poll by ELLE found that 64% of France supports same-sex marriage and 49% supports adoption by same-sex couples. [http://www.365gay.com/newscon04/06/060504frWed.htm] See Same-sex marriage in France

North America

Same-sex marriage in France

Canada

Main article: Same-sex marriage in Canada In Canada between 2003 and 2005, court rulings in the provinces of Ontario, British Columbia, Quebec, Manitoba, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Saskatchewan, Newfoundland and Labrador, as well as the Yukon Territory, found the prohibition of same-sex marriage to be contrary to the Charter of Rights, thus legalizing it in those jurisdictions. On July 20, 2005, the Canadian Parliament passed the Civil Marriage Act defining marriage nationwide as "the lawful union of two persons to the exclusion of all others." Canada is also the only country without a residency requirement for same-sex marriage. The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled, on a reference question (Re: Same-Sex Marriage, 2004) that the government has the authority to amend the definition of marriage, but did not rule on whether or not such a change is required by the equality provisions of the Charter. The Court stated that such a ruling is not necessary because the federal government had accepted the rulings of lower courts. The Court also ruled that religious institutions could not be required to perform same-sex marriages. The original case that lead to the legalisaton of same-sex marriage in Canada came from the act of Rev. Brent Hawkes of the Metropolitan Community Church of Toronto who married two same sex couples within his congregation and then challenged the authorities to register these marriages. As of November 11th, 2004 the Canadian federal government's immigration department, the Department of Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC), considers same-sex marriages performed in Canada valid for the purposes of sponsoring a spouse to immigrate. See also [http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/sponsor/index.html CIC] and Same-sex marriage in Canada Immigration authorities there had previously considered long-term same-sex relationships to be equivalent to similar heterosexual relationships as grounds for sponsorship. The Canadian federal government introduced a bill for a law called the Civil Marriage Act to legalize same-sex marriage nationally. This bill (Bill C-38) was passed by the Canadian House of Commons on June 28, 2005, despite heated and vocal opposition from the Conservative Party of Canada. It was then passed by the Senate on July 19, 2005 and received Royal Assent on July 20 2005. It is now the law across Canada. Following the passage of Bill C-38, the government of Prince Edward Island initially refused to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples on the grounds that the wording on the necessary documents had not yet been updated and that this would not be able to be completed until the fall sitting of the legislature at the earliest [http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2005/07/22/PEI-same-sex-050722.html] [http://www.365gay.com/newscon05/07/072305PEI.htm]. The province did pledge that it would make the necessary changes. However, following complaints charging that the imposed delay was illegal and infringed the legal rights of same-sex couples, the province reversed its position and the first same-sex marriage on Prince Edward Island occurred on August 20, 2005 [http://www.gaypei.com/docs/news/firstwedding.htm]. The two territories without same-sex marriage had also previously indicated they would comply with federal law. The Alberta government, although strongly opposed, has stated that it will register same-sex marriages, but will work to protect those who oppose it on social, cultural or religious grounds. Despite the passage of the Civil Marriage Act into law, the revised immigration policy (as of October 2005) still considers all same-sex marriages which took place in other countries (e.g. The Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, or the United States (Massachusetts)) to be invalid. For example, a Canadian citizen, legally married in The Netherlands to his same-sex Dutch partner, may not sponsor his Dutch partner for immigration as a spouse, despite the fact that both Dutch law and Canadian law make no distinction between opposite-sex and same-sex civil marriages (i.e. there is only one type of civil marriage, one type of civil marriage certificate). See [http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/sponsor/familymembers.html#sponsoring CIC]

United States

Main article: Same-sex marriage in the United States As of September 2005 in the United States, only the state of Massachusetts recognizes same-sex marriage, while California, Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maine, New Jersey and Vermont grant persons in same-sex unions a similar legal status to those in a civil marriage by domestic partnership, civil union or reciprocal beneficiary laws. Seventeen states have constitutional amendments explicitly barring the recognition of same-sex marriage[http://hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Community&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=19449], confining civil marriage to a legal union between a man and a woman. Twenty-seven states have legal statutes defining marriage to two persons of the opposite-sex. A small number of states ban any legal recognition of same-sex unions that would be equivalent to civil marriage. During the 2004 U.S. Presidential elections the question of whether same-sex unions should be recognized by the government became a paramount wedge issue. A strong faction within the Republican Party, the Christian Right sought a federal amendment banning any recognition of same-sex unions by any name. This position was adopted by the party's platform. Ten of the states with amendments banning same-sex marriage passed during these elections. President George W. Bush chose to support the Federal Marriage Amendment banning same-sex marriage while agreeing with the concept of federalism, that states themselves should settle other arrangements such as civil union, domestic partnership and reciprocal beneficiary. The Federal Marriage Amendment failed in the U.S. Senate by a greater than expected number, with several members of the Republican Party defying the party's platform. Advocates of same-sex marriage gathered support from African-American associations, feminists, scientists, Jews, Hispanic groups, celebrities, labor unions and the gay rights movement. A few Democratic Party state platforms endorsed same-sex marriage as well. Fourteen states that attempted to ban same-sex marriage by constitutional amendment failed in 2004 and six have failed in 2005. [http://www.hrc.org/Content/ContentGroups/Publications1/backlash_myth.pdf] Courts in the state of Hawaii in 1993 ruled that same-sex couples were entitled to same rights as married opposite-sex couples under their state’s Equal Protection Clause. Polls at the time indicated that the majority of residents favored allowing same-sex marriage, possibly due to predominantly non-European demographics. After the ruling many traditionalist Christian organizations from the American South poured substantial funds into the state in a public relations blitz attacking the ruling, and in 1998, Hawaiian voters amended their state Constitution to give their legislature the right to restrict marriage rights. The legislature created recip